PARENTING, OVERVIEW
Part II
page 1 of 2

 

In Part 1, I discussed several points. They were as follows: 1) Read the Bible and pray daily, 2) Be aware that a person’s initial reaction (i.e., thought, word or behavior) comes from our basic “self”(  “carnal”),  and 3) As  parents and mentors for our children, it is important to have an understanding of what they can intellectually and emotionally comprehend at their present stage of development.

Bible reading and prayer are very important, so I encourage you to continue trying to do this daily.

In Part 2 we are going to focus on studying “what we say,” by our reactions, thoughts, and words. To give a personal example,- while in college, I had courses on parenting and child development and understood what were the appropriate responses to a developing child at the child’s stage of development.  I remember being a new Mother ( challenged by a hyperactive and precocious toddler, pregnant, and having  un-diagnosed anemia.)  My husband and I were living 500 miles away from my Family and Friends. I was exhausted, overwhelmed and had no one to talk to; I believe my husband saw me as being lazy. One day, in desperation, I pulled my college text books off the shelf in search of an answer of what does a parent do when the parent is exhausted and has no more patience to give? I found no answers! The text assumed that the Parent was ALWAYS in control of their own emotional state and having an endless supply of patience. Unfortunately, I was not as close to the Lord as I am now so I never thought about seeking The Lord–praying and reading the Bible and trusting that God would intercede and work out my problem. ( Jer 29:11 & 12,  Ps 9:10, Matt. 7:7 &  Jas. 1:5.) And so, I suffered, because I looked to my intellect to understand and resolve the problem. In Exodus 2: 23 & 24, the Children of Israel cried and their cry was heard by God. God interceded and rescued them. He can do that for us today, also. Had I cried to Him, He might have put a Christian friend in my life to help with my over active son or instrumented a way of having my anemia diagnosed. I do not know what He would have done, but I am convinced He would have done something to change my situation. Be assured that no problem you or I have is too much for our Heavenly Father to resolve.

Getting back to the example, did my toddler and unborn pick up on what was going on inside of me? Of course, but not at an intellectual level; instead,  unconsciously, they felt my lack of  peace and my discomfort. This frequently promotes unrest in the child* which sometimes manifests itself in irritability and misbehavior. So a toddler may do things he knows he is not to do, in a need of comforting attention. However, “bad behavior” will not produce the child’s needed response, so he may begin to feel something is wrong with him and over-compensates in an effort to make his parent happy and feeling peaceful. Of course this can lead the child into a  lifetime behavior of trying to please others just  to feel okay about himself. This is how generational insecurities begin.

This can be stopped.  Parents and adult children can change through purposeful growth, as Christians.

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